I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize