i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
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