is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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