I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
This is the high leading the old right now
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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