The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize