Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize