oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
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