the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
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my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
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