No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
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