That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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