i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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