He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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