unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
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There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
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What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
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