Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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