They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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