i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize