Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
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