They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Randomize