and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize