nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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