Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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