I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
you inspire me to be a worse person
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize