Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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