everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize