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absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
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