my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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