Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize