You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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