I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize