it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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