Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Randomize