Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
What happened to fro yo and sex?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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