I'm going to jail i love you
it was like eating out sand paper
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize