I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize