Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(925): View more from California

Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up

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(925): Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up http://tfl.nu/uhz5

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(732): View more from New Jersey

my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.

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(732): my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum. http://tfl.nu/6d6p

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...

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(717): She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands... http://tfl.nu/ij5g

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(845): View more from New York

I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.

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(845): I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day. http://tfl.nu/52wz

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.

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(215): I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk. http://tfl.nu/289e

Replies (12) Good night (4614) Bad night (922)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it

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(978): oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it http://tfl.nu/dcde

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(651): View more from Minnesota

I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.

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(651): I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed. http://tfl.nu/6al2

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(904): View more from Florida

so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination

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(904): so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination http://tfl.nu/nopp

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

did mom hear me barking???

(267): View more from Pennsylvania

oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

sooo high. sooo many dog friends

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(215): did mom hear me barking??? (267): oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one (215): sooo high. sooo many dog friends http://tfl.nu/gyg5

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(201): View more from New Jersey

So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...

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(201): So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone... http://tfl.nu/fbxy

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(317): View more from Indiana

Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.

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(317): Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina. http://tfl.nu/djvg

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(718): View more from New York

There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.

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(718): There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood. http://tfl.nu/j8qe

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(804): View more from Virginia

Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?

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(804): Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend? http://tfl.nu/fa11

Replies (2) Good night (1102) Bad night (276)
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(970): View more from Colorado

You can't spell "party" without "RA."

(1-970): View more from Colorado

You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."

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(970): You can't spell "party" without "RA." (1-970): You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired." http://tfl.nu/jawl

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...

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(+44): I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt... http://tfl.nu/1ly3

Replies (1) Good night (502) Bad night (449) Order T-Shirt

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