Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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