Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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