I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
This girl is more easily done than said...
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
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