I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize