My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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