You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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