I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize