we were pretty classy up until the second keg
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
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