I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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