I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
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when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
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Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
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