how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
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