How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
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There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
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My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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