my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
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