They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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