Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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